I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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