We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
