Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize