i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
