So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
