Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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