pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she looked like the before picture.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
