so that wasnt chicken after all
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
