im drinking this country out of the recession.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
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