Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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