i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
