I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
