Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
