Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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