I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
