I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
