you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
