he puts the penis in happiness.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
