Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize