she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
