Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
