maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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