WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
