Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
