My balls are so social today.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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