omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
