i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
