He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
