his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
