Do you still have your period?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
