i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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