what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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