maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
