I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
