2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
