CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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