"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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