She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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