take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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