so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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