when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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