remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
they need to just BURY HIM!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
