i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
