can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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