that's an acceptable place to lick
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
