its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
