My boss' voice literally gives me gas
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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