If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
