I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
