Plan B is the new Plan A
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
