It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
third nipple confirmed
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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