My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
