I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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