At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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