4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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