If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
