I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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