Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is it because I queefed?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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