I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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