If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize