Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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