1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
