I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
