Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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