and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
