When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
