does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
