what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
