Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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