we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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