I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
