Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
