he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I am available for nakedness
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
