I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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