Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
