A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
