Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
