the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize